Goals and Training

My husband and I are of two very different views when it comes to training for races. He gets into his mind when his race is, runs whatever he feels like during the week (this means anywhere from 2-8 miles a couple times a week), throws in a couple long runs sometime in the weeks ahead, and heads to a race start feeling confident and ready to go.
I cannot approach a race this way, and thankfully one of my best friends, Brittany, is the same way and understands my stress and worry in the weeks leading to a race. As soon as I sign up for a race I start looking at training plans and thinking through goals. I then find my ideal training schedule and print it out, it is then taped to my bathroom mirror where I can look at it throughout the day and obsess over it. My training schedule becomes my path to a happy race day. I plan out my week in order to fit in all of my runs accordingly and stress when life gets in the way. When race day gets here I worry about missed runs when a child was sick and it just would't work to go, or even worse I was sick and couldn't fake it enough to get out the door. I get to the starting line thinking through long runs of past and head off with the crowds. I realize this isn't exactly healthy but it keeps me focused and I can't quite let it go. Although I do have to say, my husband has chilled me out some. He calmly reminds me of the longs runs I have accomplished and diverts my focus away from the ones that I didn't get to check off the list.
Now I am a month away from a marathon that I find myself completely untrained for. I spent the last few months worrying about family, kids, and health problems. I have no training schedule taped to my mirror and no drive to head out on a 20 mile solo run. I know I have a strong enough base that I can finish, but is that enough? Today I sent my husband out on a nice long trail run with a smidgen of guilt. I should be wishing it was me getting in a nice long run this morning, instead I have happily put mine off til next week. Here is to hoping I get my mind wrapped around that long run looming ahead and I have a smile (or at least not a look of dread) as my feet hit the road.