The Blurr

I often hear people explain their days as going by in a blur. Unfortunately, these days when I describe my day as a blur I am rarely talking about how fast my days go by. Instead I a referring to the way my head and body feel throughout the day. I try to explain this to my husband but he just doesn't seem to get it. My head is a foggy mess most of the time and my heart beat can't seem to pick a nice steady rate. 

After feelings of panic attacks for no reason I finally talked to my doctor about it this week and he gave it some title with the explanation that this happens to pregnant women. He told me to start taking my heart rate when these feelings get intense just to make sure all was ok, but he didn't seem to concerned . I felt a little better having some reason for it, but I still feel like I am losing my mind.

One of my biggest problems is that the best way I keep all of my emotions and my head in check is with a run, I can't run when I am feeling dizzy. On the treadmill last week I had to get off and sit for a minute when I felt like a full blown panic attack was hitting and I could't control the tears from rolling down my checks.

So here I sit today. Frustrated because I don't feel like I have a clear thought roaming about in my head. Wanting to run....but not wanting to run. And I can't seem to explain to my husband what I am thinking and feeling, he seems to think that I just need to feel better.

Here's to hoping that my body figures this out soon!