Sunday, November 27, 2016

Who Defines a Family?

It has been another holiday week, it has also been a week since I have posted. I have spent the week enjoying (most of the time) my crazy crew and doing all the normal Thanksgiving fun.

This year my husband and I decided we didn't want to do our normal Thanksgiving Day activities of jumping from house to house in order to make appearances with all the different families, We didn't want to have a day of chaos. It is the holiday season, over the next few weeks everyone will be visited at some point in time. Instead we decided to spend the day with those that matter most, our kids. We made Thanksgiving at our house and invited family to join us.

In today's world the word family has a much broader definition. In the last few years my family has grown exponentially. The marriage to my husband brought two beautiful, a hodge-podge of in-laws, and an ex-wife. Yes, I just included an ex-wife as part of my family. The reality is she will always be a part of our lives, whether it is for good or for bad. It has taken a few years to get to where we are today, but today I can say it is for good. Rory and his ex-wife have been able to take a step back from themselves and focus on what is best for the girls that will forever unite them.

Because they have been able to get past themselves and focus on the important things in life this woman is no longer the ex-wife and all the negative connotations that accompany that phrase. Instead she is the girls mom or simply Tiffany.

In the last 5 years we have added two more kids into our family. Both of my own children know and love Tiffany as well. She has come to most of my little guy's birthday parties and he happily greets her with hugs. She held my baby girl in the hospital and more times to count since then.

With 50-50 custody and two households that rely on self-employment we all have learned to work together. Our schedules get crazy and impossible for others to plan on, but together we have been able to consistently provide two warm homes. Two homes where chaos is normal and love is abundant.  Two homes in which these girls can thrive.  Only by including each other as part of our families has this truly been possible.

As I sat at my Thanksgiving table I had a heart full of love for all the faces that I saw. Let's be real, if I was sitting at a Thanksgiving table surrounded by cousins and their families, aunts and uncles I see only during the holiday season, and what ever other odd faces appeared this would not be the same feeling. Instead I looked at the faces of four wonderful children that have blessed me into being a mom, a husband that I love dearly, my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and Tiffany.
That night, as my husband and I talked about the day he asked me "Are you happy ?" It was so easy for me to reply "Yes."

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